Emancipation

How far is too far, when it comes to emancipation? And when is the line crossed between emancipation and the sheer lack of manners?

Imagine a situation: a girl and a boy, strangers, show up in front of a door at the same time; the door is closed and they both want to go through. What do you expect to happen next?
Seriously, I am curious, what do you expect to happen next?

I will just say, that I never walked in so many closing doors as in my first couple of weeks in Germany. By now I brace myself for the coming danger and am sometimes pleasantly surprised, but I don't expect anything, anything. However, in Germany it is not the unwillingness to treat girls with a touch of good-old manners. I dare say that emancipation just went too far.

I think that in our times men feel insecure: they do not know how to treat those emancipated Helgas. Will they be accused of overprotectiveness if they want to walk a girl home? Will they be stung with an angry look if they let a girl pass in the doorway first? Will there be an embarrassed silence if they help a girl to put on her jacket?
But that it is neither entirely the girls fault. Back in the times of Scarlet O'Hara, all was simple and clear - everyone knew their role, had a ready response for small and grand gestures. But today? A man holding a girl's jacket stretched out in mid-air reminds rather of a matador than a well-bread gentleman. Putting on a stretched out jacket is no easy task either, believe me, it has to be learnt. But what if it wasn't learnt? A nervous giggle or a small tease will help to cover the lack of knowledge. A girl can always say: "oh, don't be silly, it is the 21st century!", grab the jacket and put it on herself. And the gentleman will remember. Who wouldn't if the pride was hurt? He will remember and make sure not to help any girl to any damn jacket in the future.
Oh, what a perfect world we have cooked for ourselves - a world where men and women are equal in all.

But was savoir-vivre about lack of equality, or to make the life more pleasant with the little gestures that have now been forgotten?

Why I hate Warsaw fashion

I do like fashion. A lot. But, to be honest, in Warsaw I am just too intimidated to wear what I like.

For the past 2 seasons beige and camel-colored pants with black blazers, oversized scarfs and oversized bags have been ruling the streets of Warsaw. Nothing against this classic casual chic, but c'mon if everyone is wearing exactly the same ZARA-style it all becomes a redundant blur. 

You see, Warsaw is a city that is only developing a fashion sense after the gray years of communism. 

The current Warsaw style lacks easiness, freedom and imagination. 

You rarely see people - fashionable people - wearing an outfit of 'just' two peaces (pants/jeans + t-shirt/shirt/pullover) and some accessories to make it all fun. When you see 'fashionable people' you see the time and sweat behind their outfits: the socks match the ribbon, which matches the color of the dots on the shirt, which matches the lipstick. 

I feel like puking whenever I see such over-styled specimen walking the streets.

But people think it's chic. 

They spend lot's of Zlots (the polish currency) on the same H&M outfits. And I think to myself that they completely miss the point. Those mass-replica can hardly say anything about individual character. Only in Korea, where it is socially (almost) unacceptable to posses ones own style, have I seen so much repetition as in Warsaw. A French girl, as you meet them on the streets of Paris, with outfits that may not be completely thought-through, but with lot's of character and inner beauty, would feel completely out of place in Warsaw. 

The Warsaw version of nonchalant is boring and pretentious. 

That is why I hate hate hate the fashion in Warsaw.

What's the difference between a Japanese and a Pole?

A conversation between a Japanese customer and a shop assistant, which took place in Tokyo 3 days after the earthquake, as related on the Polish news:

customer: I am sorry, would you be so kind as to tell me when there will be food again?

shop assistant: I am sorry, I do not know.

customer: I am very sorry to have bothered you.

shop assistant: I am very sorry not to be able to answer your question.

If Poland suffered from an earthquake, followed by a tsunami, followed by a nuclear catastrophe i imagine the situation would look a lot different. People wouldn't be queueing, nor talking politely to each-other. 

First, of course, the whole nation would be shaken, people would take to the streets, set up a cross in front of the presidential palace, pray for the dead, collect money for the living, and change their facebook profile pictures to black squares. Then the politicians would start quarreling over whose fault the catastrophe was. Then street-fights between pro-cross and anti-cross groups, as well as pro-cross groups and the police, would start over whether the cross in front of the presidential palace should stay or be moved elsewhere. Then an independent commission would be set up to investigate, whose fault the catastrophe was.
Oh wait... that actually happened, didn't it?

After having witnessed Poland overcome a crisis and now watching Japan, it amazes me with how much dignity and calmness Japanese deal with the tragedy. I do admire them. A lot. 

The cultural bridges

Yesterday I met with a couple of friends form the Chinese Department and I come to think that students of foreign cultures and languages all have a similar past.
We are being thrown into a completely different culture without any warning. The day you arrive there is when you realize, that neither Lu Xun, nor Empress Dowager Cixi will get you a mobile phone or help you with your groceries at the nearby market. If you are lucky you will stumble upon a few other exchange students; if not, you will be on your own - good luck then.
You have to learn a language, but not just learn how to look up words in the dictionary. Speaking a language means speaking culture, speaking gestures, speaking the unsaid.

Those without a tongue

I heard once a story about a russian polyglot, whose notes were written in all possible languages. He was accused of spying and sent to jail...
My notes are also rarely written in one language - usually it's three, sometimes five. I am what you call a polyglot, but truth is, I am tongueless.
In this globalized world of ours, there are more and more people without a language they can call their own. It is not a blessing, it is a curse. It is as if you were living in a room that is too small to hold you.
Each language has boundaries, when you think in different languages, you constantly cross barriers. However when three of the languages you speak are Polish, Chinese and Korean it is difficult to find someone, who can cross those barriers with you. Eventually you lose everyone. Eventually you lose even yourself.
Language is one of the things that defines us. Yet, each language has also a very distinct character. When you change the language you speak and think in, something changes in you - you become a little bit different. If you juggle with languages your personality becomes a spinning kaleidoscope.
If you do not own a language, which you can call your own, who are you then?

The caterpillar and the butterfly

There is a Japanese animated movie called Omohide Poro poro, meaning falling memories. This movie has little to do with the holly-jolly Disney movies most Europeans are used to - it is about a woman in her thirties, taking a holiday in the countryside. She is a typical Japanese women from the older generation: politely smiling, never emotional, very conscious about the needs of others. However during her trip she starts remembering the time when she was in 5^th grade: a selfish little brat, going through her first childhood-love, first big disappointment, or as she calls it: “the caterpillar stage”.

“At work and at play we girls were livelier and more spirited than boys. It was like we'd finally found our wings. But looking now back, maybe we were just flexing them pointlessly.”

You see that woman, a product of the society, and the passionate girl she has once been. And you see much more - you see the Japanese society as it has been in the 60's. But the movie does not just reproduce the picture of a traditional Asian society - it questions at the same time, and the main character also starts questioning.

“Perhaps the 5^th grade me was tagging along with a message for me to reflect and rethink my life.”

A few weeks ago I have been interviewed for Cambridge. When asked about what I like to do in my free time, I told the admissions lady about this movie. Call me crazy - who in their right mind talks about an animated movie during their interview for Economics at Cambridge - but I did and I got in.

I have applied to Cambridge already once before, that was 5 years ago. During that interview I didn't talk about anything that I was really passionate about, I just said what I thought they want me to say. Of course, back then, I didn't get in. I think everyone has to fall on their nose a few times in order to really understand who they are and where they are heading to. And to be able to stay true to themselves.

“Like it or not, a butterfly must first live as a caterpillar before it can fly away.”

[all the quotes are from the movie]

Umbrellas

Every country has it's own umbrella-habits.
In Korea most people have several umbrellas in different shapes, sizes and colors. Umbrellas are used in spring when it's drizzling, in summer when it's pouring, when the sun is shining in autumn, and the snow falling in winter.
Today it rained cats and dogs in Heidelberg, but there were few people with umbrellas on the streets and even fewer with umbrellas that wouldn't be black. And I missed the colorful patchwork of South Korean streets.