Tiger in a cage

For some time I dated a guy from a rich influential Korean family. As you would expect from a son of rich parents he was an excellent golfer and rather popular with girls. He treated everybody with great respect, especially his mother. Yet he lived in a shadow.

He did not know his father well, he feared his father, even hated. He seemed overwhelmed by this grey eminency, never able to rise to the expectations. He told me, that when he was a child the weekends were the worst - with his father home the hours would drag endlessly. Yet at the same time he lived in awe of his father and he knew that he would become the same father figure some day.

Of course not all families in Korea are alike, but from my observations a lot of pressure is put on Korean sons. At an early age Korean boys become aware of their obligation: enter a good university, go to military, graduate, find work, marry. I have met few that had the courage, or means, to stand up to that model. They have obligations to their parents, grandparents, the society, which are not easily broken. In no other nation I know, young men have a greater sense of responsibility. That is one of the reasons why Korea was able to rise from utter poverty within of few decades. But when you look at all those broken dreams and backs crooked under social pressure, you ask yourself: was it worth becoming a Tiger, if you have to live in captivity?